Hello,
I am so sorry to those of you who have been following my blog. Life has been so busy and crazy. I have found absolutely NO time to post. Although I haven't posted in ages, God is still faithful. I had goose bumps today after talking with a student. It was a "must-share" story.
This student, in particular, is very smart but has a strong hate for God. Life hasn't always been easy and when his father passed away, it was a huge turning point. He blamed God for taking away his father. After all, who else did he have to blame? He couldn't understand the fact that God has a plan and sometimes He has to let people go. The moment I saw this student, I knew he had a story. A story that I wanted to hear. I knew he had gone through something tragic and it looked as though he had been treading water for days only barely surviving. When I looked into his eyes as he talked, I saw hate and revenge. I could sense a heart that was longing for something. Perhaps a heart that was longing for love. It was as if he was in the middle of a dry desert without water. He needed something more than a teacher to support him, he needed God. He couldn't see his need for God because after all, it seemed like God was out to get him. God wanted to make his life miserable and wanted him to suffer. His only logical way of getting back at God was to hate Him, refuse to accept Him, and choose the complete opposite life that God had in store for him. Fortune and fame seemed like something he wanted over eternal life. Movies and Hollywood seemed like a good life. Why not get wasted and forget about all the problems in the world? Do you kind of understand him? Although I saw and heard all the negative things, I saw something more. I knew this was something worth fighting for. I saw a child who was yearning for God. I was talking to a kid that could change other people's lives. I was in the presence of a child fit for the Kingdom of God.
Today I was sitting outside and he decided that he wanted to come over and talk to me. Here's how the conversation went:
Student: "Miss, I am really unhappy with my latest grade for my Bible test."
Me: "Oh yeah? What happened?"
Student: "I don't really know . . . I knew all the "right" answers but I wanted to write my own opinion."
Me: "I see. So you thought that it would be better to express your own opinions, even though they weren't asked, and receive a bad grade?"
Student: "Well, I thought so but now I'm really mad that I did that."
Me: "I'm guessing that you will never be doing that again... so why do you want to keep fighting with God? Why do you want to hate Him so much? Do you realize that no matter what you do, He will still love you? Aren't you sick of wasting your time and energy? When are you going to love Him back?"
Student: " . . . . I never thought of it that way. It's so much easier to just love Him back. I don't want to hate Him anymore. Would it be Ok to come to church this Saturday? I am going to ask my mom."
I have been inviting him to church for so many months now! He finally wants to come.
The conversation went pretty much like that. Obviously a lot longer and more details. I know that deep down he really wants to choose God. He told me that if he keeps fighting, in the end, he is just going to lose. What's the point then? He mentioned the fact that he is "too old" to make the decision to follow God. I told him that he could be on his death bed or 99 years old and God will still take him back.
I know that we all face challenges and struggles in our lives. I know that it can be tough and sometimes we get so frustrated and it seems like the best person to blame is God. We have to remember that we live in a sinful world. No one is perfect. This is exactly why God has to let things "play out". We need to be able to see good and evil so when He comes back to take us home, sin won't happen again. Stop blaming God for your problems and instead trust in Him and let Him use you. Enough fighting with God.... in the end, you will lose. His love is never ending. Choose Him today. It's never to late to fall back into the arms of Christ.
I have to remind myself of this everyday. This student and his story helps me trust in God and reminds me how much I need Him. His story is still in process and we are praying for life changing decisions :)
Thank you for prayers and support. Please continue to pray for all of the kids and their decisions for the Lord! Looking forward to all of us meeting in the Kingdom!
Love to all,
Ivana
